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Why #5

 ******TRIGGER WARNING: Deadnaming, misgendering, unsupportive parent**********

I took my cat to the vet a few months ago. He is a big cat and barely fits into the carrier. He looked comical on the way there, but I felt so bad. I had not thought beforehand about his size compared to the carrier’s. I felt like a sad parent dropping him off, but the nurse seemed genuinely nice, which helped. I waited patiently for them to let me know when he was ready to be picked up and when it came time, I headed back to the door. 

I was greeted by another nurse who complimented my kitty on how handsome he was and then stuttered her way into a conversation with me about her daughter. She proceeded to tell me that her daughter was 10 and trans.

She teared up as she mentioned her ex-husband, how unsupportive he was, and how her heart broke for her daughter as she watched her battle with the emotions stemming from having  a parent that was always deadnaming her, misgendering her and refusing to provide her medications. My heart broke as I listened to this wonderful person pour her heart out to a complete stranger. 

She then smiled and said--and this sticks with me--she said that she wished her daughter was there to see another trans girl living a happy adult life.

Throughout most of my life,I have never really felt very happy. This lady saw me and thought: Happiness. I was taken aback by this. When I first came out a year and a half ago, I was so shy. I hid, had very few resources and felt very alone. COVID did not help much. Now, here I am all approachable and stuff! I am proud to be able to pick clothes that I like and feel good in, to do my hair, makeup and nails, to go out and with a smile on my face and love who I am. Knowing that I look happy is one of the best things this girl can hear, really. 

I have been approached by a couple of other parents since then and I am always ready to listen. I am here with Equity Buckfield because I want to extend myself further. I want to be an outlet, a resource, or even just a relatable voice for anyone who may need to hear one from time to time. I have been through 40 years of struggles with addiction, mental health and physical health throughout my battle to find my happiness. Now that I can finally see mine, I want to extend my hand to help others find theirs, whatever that happiness might be. I want to be open and available and hopefully help in any way I can, working towards a more loving and inclusive world. Buckfield feels like a great place to start.

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